Leaving the Sandbox

When I first entered seminary, two people whom I love dearly – my husband John and our friend Jeff, both United Church of Christ (UCC) ministers – gave me incredible amounts of advice about what I could expect:

- Be ready, one day when you are reading or are in class, something you wholeheartedly believe will get turned upside down. This isn’t necessarily bad – it’s just going to happen. Check!

- Be ready to learn a brand new way of writing. (Both John and Jeff had Masters Degrees in English prior to entering seminary – I took their word on it.) Check!

- Be ready to read more that any human possibly can and still lead a productive life. Check!

- Be ready . . . .

Every piece of advice that they gave me was right on. They didn’t offer suggestions about how to handle such things, they were just preparing me to get ready. The past couple of weeks I have realized that there was one thing they did not prepare me for – the number of times that something I am reading, or hearing, will immediately cause something to stir within my soul, positively and negatively. Quite often what caused the stir would seem to be fairly incidental – something that really doesn’t require much thought. But still I am stirred, and sometimes shaken. At times I am able to process the thoughts by talking with friends and classmates. Other times, however, I can’t find the exact words to describe what I am thinking or feeling and I need to write . . .

This is one of those times.

While preparing for one of my classes I read a one page article that discussed United Church of Christ (UCC) polity. (Polity, for those who are not immersed in the lingo refers to forms of church government. And, for all my non-UCC friends who understand polity – YES, the UCC has a polity.) Briefly put, the polity of the UCC goes like this – there are four representations of the UCC (local church, association, conference, national setting) and no one entity can tell another entity what it can or cannot do. Each church decides what works for them. Other entities can make recommendations but churches do not need to accept them – they are just asked to prayerfully consider them. All entities within the UCC are bound in covenant with one another. We are called into a relationship of reciprocal love, support, and care. (OK – I know that is really simplistic but it gets to the heart of it.)

In this article titled God Does Not Coerce, God Invites I was struck by three statements in particular:

“God invites and does not coerce a people to be in covenant with God and each other.”

“Every unit of the church . . . while in covenant with the other units, has a non-transferable responsibility to discern and respond to the call of God to it – God’s will and way for it – in its time and place.”

“Hospitality is crucial given the multifaceted presence of diversity within the unity of the body of Christ. Instead of “you can’t tell me,” hospitality looks forward to considering and learning from and with each other.”

Now, yes, this article is specifically referring to UCC polity but I cannot help but think about how these statements apply to the big “C” church – the Church universal. As members of any church we are called into covenant with God and with each other. Each church needs to discern how they are being called to respond to the needs of the world. And, we need to understand that there will be great diversity in thought and action and we should remain open to all we can learn from others.

Pretty simple, huh? I wish it were. I see far too many examples of people (and churches) picking up their toys and leaving the sandbox. Things get difficult, and people leave. Or, things simply don’t go exactly how they want them to and they leave. I know this, too, is a simplistic description of the problem, but, you know what I am referring to, right?

How have we gotten here? How have we become a society that would rather leave than to talk through the difficult stuff. How has society learned that it is more beneficial to retreat than to sit and talk and learn. I know it is human nature for us to surround ourselves with people who think like us but, if that is all we do, how can we grow? If all we end up doing is sitting and agreeing with each other how do we expand our horizons? Some of my best insights on topics have come from discussing them with people that do not agree with me. But, I have had to work at the art of coming to the discussion with an open mind, ready to hear pieces of wisdom. If I want to be listened to, then I first must listen.

How can we change this reality? Can it be changed? Can we help people learn the art of listening? Can we help people learn the art of mutuality? Can we help people learn that it is okay to disagree without needing to leave? Can we help people see the beauty in being pushed beyond our self-made comfort zones? Can we help people see that by being open to hearing another view point (especially one that we do not agree with) we just may gain more insight on God’s will for us?

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6

Grace is a good place to start.

First Reactions

For the past two days television news programs and other news services have been all a-buzz about the newest singing sensation from Brittain's Got Talent - her name is Susan Boyle. She has the most amazing voice. If you have been hiding under a rock and have not yet seen her performance you have to take the time to watch it. Right now! Click the link below. Don't worry, I'll be here when you get back.

Watch Susan Boyle Sing

See what I mean? Wasn't she amazing? I wish I had one ounce of that singing voice. But, her voice isn't what has been gnawing at me from the first moment I watched the video. Did you notice the initial reaction from the judges and from the audience? Susan walked on stage and immediately snickers could be heard. No one, not even the judges, attempted to hide their mocking. Some actually showed disgust that she was on stage. It was as if they were saying that this woman wasn't worth anything.

Why?

Why would she not be worth anything? Why would they assume that she did not have any talent? Is it because she did not look the part? Hmmm - she was dressed very nicely, walked calmly onto the stage and, like anyone else in her position as a contestant on a show, nervously answered the questions posed to her. Even the judges admitted that the audience was laughing at her when she came out, that everyone was against her.

Again, I ask, why?

Why is it that we are so quick to judge people based on our first reactions, our first impressions? Why is it that we are so quick to judge anyone at all? Why is it that we are so quick to mock our fellow brothers and sisters? Isn't there enough pain and suffering in the world? Why is it that we are so quick to inflict pain on others? (Hmmm - you may be saying I don't inflict pain on anyone. I ask you this - have you ever joked or made snide comments about how someone looks, talks, dresses, acts, etc? Don't you think those things cause pain?)

This has been something that has been bothering me for a long time. Maybe it has been on my mind because of the deluge of Reality TV shows that feed society's need to place itself at least one step above others. Maybe it has been on my mind because so many people have the need to make others feel bad in order to feel good about themselves.

Now, I need to insert a quick note. I am not trying to be holier-than-thou with this post. I have been as guilty as anyone else - it's human nature, everyone has done something like this at least once in their life. I haven't seen an official study on the matter but my gut is telling me I am probably right.

That said, I have, for a very long time, been trying to halt my instinctive first reactions , my first impressions, and get to know people for who they are - not judge them and classify them in any way. If I truly believe that each and everyone of us is made in the image of God (and I do) then we are all made beautiful. By our very nature we are beautiful. By our very nature we are loved. Watching the video of Susan Boyle that very first time I saw an extremely beautiful woman. She exuded warmth, gentleness, hope, and love. She was following a dream she had been dreaming for 35 years - since she was 12 years old. She had never before been given the chance to pursue her dream. What an absolute shame that is - the world was robbed of all the beautiful music she could have been making.

Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness."
Genesis 1:26, NRSV

God is love,
God is grace,
God is hope,
God is reconciliation,
God is redemption,
God is . . . .

My hope is that we all start living into the reality that we are created in the image of God. And, more importantly, my hope is that we will take the time to recognize that everyone is created in God's image. I hope we will all make a very real attempt to pause our first reactions, our first impressions, (and maybe even second, third . . .) and get to know people for who they are. We just may see the beauty in everyone and the amazing gifts that they have to offer the world. Can you imagine what our world would look like? Can you imaging what our world would be like? We just may get a glimpse of heaven.

The Journey Begins . . .

Or, at least, this phase of the journey begins.....

I sit here, at my computer, in the wee hours of the day we celebrate the empty tomb, imagining the women who discovered the entrance -

open,
stone rolled away,
Jesus . . . . gone!

I can only imagine the miriad of questions, the anguish, the fear, that was felt on this day over 2000 years ago. I find myself asking:

Did they not remember the words he had told them?
Did they truly believe that the story would end with the theft of a body?
How could they not, after all the time they spent with him, believe?
Where was their faith?

Hmmm - hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it? Of course (I tell myself in a pretty puffed up tone) I would have recognized that what Jesus told his followers, what Jesus told me, was being fulfilled. However, as I reflect upon this scene, I find myself asking - truly, would I have been any different? Would I have been filled with any fewer questions? Would I have been filled with any less fear? I don't think so.

I think the account of the women's reaction at the empty tomb is teaching us that questioning is okay - that in our questioning, in our apparent disbelief, we eventually live into the truth. I think that questioning is a very real and valid part of life, and, of faith. I recently read the following quote by German poet Rainer Maria Rilke:

"I beg you . . . to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves . . . And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers."

We should not be afraid to question. We should not be afraid to wrestle with things that don't make sense, and sometimes, with things that do make sense. Questioning does not make us any less of a person, Christian, spouse/partner, parent, sibling, child, friend, citizen . . . . the list could go on forever. Questioning is healthy, questioning helps us grow.

So - this is where this phase of my journey beings . . . in the wee wee hours of Easter morn, discovering the empty tomb, and pondering. I am living the quesitons and hoping, someday, I just may live my way into some of the answers.